One of my all-time favorite romantic movies is “Sabrina” – the 1995 remake starring
Harrison Ford, Julia Ormond and Greg Kinnear. You might ask, “What does a movie
about coming of age have to do with midlife?” and the answer is: Everything!
As women in midlife, we are on our own personal quest to “find ourselves” – to start
redefining who we are and what we’re going to contribute to this world through our
own personal gifts and talents. And, not unlike Sabrina, many of us get caught up in all-
consuming crushes on someone that we see as our knight-in-shining-armor. Our every
waking thought is about him. We plan our days around catching a glimpse of him and
(gasp!) getting an opportunity to talk with him. We attempt to come up with something
funny and witty to say so he’ll realize what a charming person we are and feel compelled
to get to know us.
Everyone around us (that is alert enough to realize what’s going on) tries to warn us
against the futility of our misplaced affections, but to no avail. We’re convinced that
someday he’ll recognize how perfect we are for him. Our knight will finally come
galloping up on his gallant steed and rescue us from our dreary life that has become way
too confining, too predictable, and too familiar. We want to escape – to ride off into the
sunset and find that elusive life that we just know we’re missing out on!
Well, ladies, it’s time to find your own horse! Your marriage is not your problem and
another man is not the solution. You will never find what you’re looking for on the back
of someone else’s horse. It’s not until Sabrina is alone with herself in Paris that she truly
finds her “calling.” In her case, her camera becomes the key that unlocks the path to her
soul. She starts seeing herself and the world around her through her photography. She
discovers that she possesses a natural gift to see what others miss. She captures it in her
lens, but only after it’s penetrated her heart.
She also discovers a mentor – a woman that has walked in her shoes and is willing to
share her personal experiences to shed light on Sabrina’s path. She listens. She makes it
her own. It’s the painful, lonely period of self-discovery that requires you letting go of
everything else to find. It’s what you finally uncover when you get to the end of yourself
and all of your preconceived ideas and notions about what will make you happy.
Only when Sabrina has faced the truth about herself is she able to love a man – with a
mature love that only comes from knowing yourself first. You don’t need to run off to
Paris to face your fears and come to grips with your life; you can do that right where
you are now. Going through this midlife ‘coming of age’ is one of the toughest, most
emotionally gut-wrenching times of our lives, but if we try to ignore it, run away from
it, or find short-term solutions, we’ll miss out on discovering who we really are and why
we’re here on this earth. Don’t deprive the world or yourself of your personal legacy!
You’ll be grateful that you did and so will the many lives that you touch along the way.
Copyright ©2011 Path Partners.com
Bring It On! Women Embracing Midlife
Prepare yourself for the changes and unique challenges you face as a midlife woman! Learn step-by-step how to recognize and navigate through the five stages of a midlife transition, determine your life purpose, and develop a clear vision for turning your dreams into reality.
Author: Christine Schaap
Path Partners