At midlife, your friendships with other women will make the difference between living a vibrant, fulfilling life and being miserably alone. Every woman longs for someone who will listen and offer a safe environment where she can laugh, cry, and express her feelings. It’s important to take the time now to cultivate meaningful relationships with women that cheer you on while you explore different options, catch you when you fall, and encourage and support you as you endeavor to redefine yourself.

The biggest key to finding friends like this is to be one yourself!

Listen to other women when they’re sharing about themselves. Be attentive. Show interest. Keep the conversation focused on them and not on you. One woman I know has a story for every situation that someone else brings up. I’m sure you’re familiar with the type! They probably mean well, but it almost seems like they’re trying to top your situation with one that is more tragic, or more eyebrow raising than your own.

It’s okay to share a similar situation, but make sure you’re giving the other woman plenty of time to speak and share what’s on her heart before you barge in with a situation of your own. It’s much better to ask questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “Are you feeling betrayed?” or “You’re probably very angry. Have you been able to tell her how that made you feel?” Questions like these allow the other person to realize that you really are hearing what they’re saying.

Be willing to make yourself vulnerable by sharing your inner feelings with a small, intimate group of women. You have found a treasure if you have just two or three other women with whom you can take off your mask and risk being totally honest and transparent. Deep, meaningful friendships like these will give you a fresh perspective on your struggles and the assurance that you don’t need to go through life alone. It’s wonderful to have these kind of friends to share the joys of life with as well.

Work at establishing long-lasting friendships. Build memories together. Do a girls’ weekend away. Stay at a bed and breakfast. Take a rafting trip. Plan a fun outing. If it’s playing near you, get tickets to see Menopause: The Musical. It’s hilarious! You will be talking about it for weeks afterwards. Join a golf league. Visit a day spa together. Join a women’s fitness center together. Have an all-night card party or scrapbooking workshop. Rent fun movies. Play songs from the 60′s and 70′s and dance to them!

Do your friends know that you’re thinking about them? Meeting face-to-face is the best way to reinforce relationships, but you can also pick up the phone, send an email, or even better – send a note letting her know that you’re thinking about her. Finally, pray for your friends. There’s nothing more powerful than prayer for changing lives! If there’s someone that is on your mind a lot and whose situation weighs heavy on your heart, don’t underestimate the effectiveness of asking God to touch her life.

As Thanksgiving is approaching, take time to be grateful for the women who have impacted your life. If they’re still living, this might be a good opportunity for you to let them know how much their friendship means to you. Don’t let the busyness of the upcoming holidays keep you from focusing on the relationships that make life truly worthwhile. Reconnect with old friends and nurture the new friendships that are just beginning to blossom. Your life will be richer because of them.