“I just don’t sleep,” says Carol, a 53-year-old public relations consultant. “My 84-year-old mother moved in three years ago after a bad fall and my daughter, who is going through a divorce, moved in last month with her 3-year-old twin boys and a 10-month-old baby girl. I love having my grandchildren around, but with taking care of Mom and trying to run my business, I no longer have any time for myself!”

Carol’s situation isn’t as uncommon as you may think. Nearly one in four US households are now providing care to a relative or friend 50 or older. With the costs of long term care rising and the number of Americans over age 65 almost doubling in the next 25 years, it’s expected that 53 million US households will be caring for one or both parents (or spouses) in their home as well as children.

The “Sandwich Generation” is more than just a cultural phrase. It’s quickly becoming a reality for a growing number of women who, like Carol, are seeing the tides of responsibility turning and the care of their parents falling on their shoulders. Even if you aren’t directly involved in their care in your home, you may still be regularly involved in your parents’ daily needs – trips to the doctor, grocery shopping, cleaning, paying bills, and handling correspondence.

“Sure, I have two brothers that could be sharing in the responsibility for Mom,” says Carol, “but their wives don’t want the daily burden of her care. Honestly, though, I wouldn’t want her anyplace other than with me. Besides, she gets a kick out of playing with her great-grandchildren. She reads them stories and even watches Dora with them!”

Women who devote themselves to caring for others, however, tend to neglect their own well-being. It’s important for women in shoes similar to Carol’s to break down any barriers of isolation. You might wonder how anyone could feel isolated living in a household with four generations, but if you don’t have anyone with whom to share the challenges and frustrations, you risk growing extremely lonesome and even bitter.

Don’t spread yourself so dangerously thin that you lose the joy of caring for someone you love. Reach out. Find the support you need. Perhaps there are others in your church or community who are facing similar struggles and would be willing to meet with you for coffee. Don’t bear your burdens alone.

Here are three websites where you can go for help:

Remember also to ask for practical help from siblings, adult children, spouses, your church, or volunteer groups. If your budget allows, hire someone to come in a couple afternoons a week so you can get out for some “me” time. We all need it. Don’t be a martyr.

Take a break to go for a walk, curl up with a novel, write in a journal, work in your garden, meet a friend for a round of golf, or go out to dinner. If you don’t renew yourself, you’ll risk your own health and state-of-mind and won’t be available to help the ones you love.

Finally, allow yourself to laugh. Rent a funny movie. Read the comics. Go see a comedy show. Try to find the humor in your daily life. The physical act of laughing will go a long way to relieving your stress and brightening your outlook.

My hat goes off to those of you who are “sandwiched” in right now. It’s an important job you’ve taken on – whether voluntarily or not. Give yourself credit for all you do. Even take a little time to wallow in self-pity. Call a friend and commiserate if you think it will help. But don’t stay in that frame of mind for long.

Read something positive. Write an affirmation about the good things that are coming of this situation. Like Carol, recognize how you and your family are being blessed by this season of your life. If not now, someday you will see how special and healing this time in your relationship has truly been.