Empty-Nest Doesn’t Mean an Empty Life

With August quickly approaching and kids getting ready to go off to college, many of you are going to be experiencing the “empty nest” for the first time. Are you prepared? We take steps to prepare for other major events in our life – marriage, a new job, a move, a new baby – why should the empty nest be any different?

When children leave home, be prepared to experience a sense of loss. It’s one less place to set at the table, one less person coming and going, one less set of sheets to wash, one less person to get a hug from on a daily basis. If this is your last child to leave home, it means putting your daily parenting role on the back burner. There will still be an occasional crisis to handle – many times a need for money – but there will also be broken relationships, disappointments with grades, or frustration over a (more…)

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An Open Letter to a Midlife Husband

 

Every week I receive emails from concerned and sometimes distraught husbands who want to know what to do with their once sweet, loving wives who seem to have suddenly morphed into someone they hardly recognize. They’re trying to save their marriages and I want to help. In fact, I wrote an ebook called, “How to Survive Your Wife’s Midlife Crisis!”
Following is a response to one gentleman’s request for more information and insight into what he has been experiencing with his wife: (more…)

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7 Keys to Living a Balanced Life

Feeling stressed? Burned out? Experiencing a general sense of dissatisfaction with your life? As women, we have a tendency to cram more and more into our schedules at the risk of sacrificing the stuff that keeps us on an even-keel. That’s a sure-fire recipe for losing our balance and what we consider our quality of life.
Balance is achieved through small, daily changes. By weaving these seven ingredients into your daily routine, you’ll soon be living the peaceful, serene life you yearn for.

1. Forgiveness. Let go of any grievances or grudges that you hold. Don’t let little aggravations grow into deep-rooted bitterness and resentment towards others. Sure, someone may have intentionally (or unintentionally) done you wrong, but is it worth letting it eat you alive? No! If it’s something that’s going to keep bothering you, go and confront the person about whatever injustices you (more…)

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5 Stages of a Midlife Transition

As a mother of five young adults, I can clearly remember the teen years – moodiness, depression, irritability, uncertainty, discontentment, struggling with shifting roles, changing bodies, hormones, and wondering what you’re going to do with your life – all signs of moving from one stage of life to the next.

Like adolescence, midlife transition is a period of getting a sense of who you are and establishing your identity. Midlife may be denied, but not escaped. It’s a biological inevitability to grow and enter the next stage of development.

Just as adolescence transforms you from a child to an adult, midlife transforms you from who you think you are to who you were meant to be. Midlife is a new birth, a new beginning, a chance to start over.

It would be wonderful if we could avoid the awkward, and many times painful, process of transition, but without it we wouldn’t experience the (more…)

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Slow Down and Enjoy Life

Are you guilty of never slowing down to relax and enjoy life?

Most of us spend our days running at high speed, never slowing down to relax. It’s easy to miss out on enjoying life, however, if you’re always running around frantically trying to get things done.

I once read a story of a gentleman visiting a colleague in Sweden. He was surprised when his host parked at the outskirts of the parking lot morning after morning when (more…)

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Which Button Do You Push In A Crisis?

Remember the Staples “EASY button”? Don’t you wish one really existed? All too often when we get overwhelmed by the curve balls life sends throws us, we automatically reach for the “panic button” instead.

What happens when we overreact emotionally and continuously hit the panic button? We make poor decisions and dumb mistakes. When you go through life having a knee-jerk reaction to everything, you’re going to get just the opposite results than those you’re really looking for.

Take, for example, the husband who has just heard the “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” (more…)

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Are You Stretching Yourself?

Are you stretching yourself? Or are you stuck in a rut – wishing your life would miraculously change?

I was recently reminded of an analogy of children traversing the monkey bars on a school playground. How do you successfully get from one side to the other? You have to let go of the bar that you’re on in order to swing and catch hold of the next bar! If you don’t let go, you’ll never get to the other side.

What are you hanging onto that you (more…)

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Are You Giving Away Your Power?

Are you carrying around emotional baggage from your past? Is your life clouded by resentment, unforgiven hurts, perceived wrongs, and unacknowledged losses?

Have you erected walls around your heart to keep from being hurt again?

If you’re unable to express anger, sadness, grief, guilt, or hurt — if you suppress your emotions — you won’t be able to move on. Unfortunately, denial of your feelings may cause unexpected outbursts or severe depression. You awake one day to realize that the walls you’ve so carefully built around you also keep you from enjoying life.

“Part of midlife is openness to healing,” observed one woman I spoke with when writing Bring It On. “We have shut out hurts for so long that we don’t recognize them. Similar to stepping over the same box in the garage for years in a row, we just get used to it being there and habitually step over it while no longer “seeing” it.”

Make room for happiness in your life by (more…)

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Are You An Adrenaline Junkie?

Do you run around always saying how busy you are? Someone
asks you what you’ve been up to lately, and you say, “I’ve
been really busy.” Another person asks you what you have
going on next week and you quickly respond, “Oh, I’ve got a
crazy week! I’m going to be so busy!” Sound familiar?

What is it about those of us that live in the United States
anyway (I’m aware that other cultures are different), that
causes us to feel better by (more…)

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Are Midlife and Menopause Interchangeable?

I have lost count of how many times I’ve been asked the question, “How can I be having a midlife crisis if I haven’t gone through menopause yet?” (or some variation of that concern). I have a few thoughts on the subject — big surprise, right?

First of all, by today’s standards, midlife consists of the time approximately between the ages of 40 and 60 (assuming that the majority of us can expect to live between 80 and 100 years). That doesn’t mean that at age 35 you can’t be experiencing a “midlife transition” which, as the name implies, is the period of time during which you become aware that you’re moving into the next stage of your life. After all, we have the terms, “adolescence” and “pre-adolescence” to describe the transition from childhood into young adulthood. Likewise, some women may not go through an awareness that they’ve moved to the next stage of life until they’re well into their forties.

So what does all this have to do with menopause? According to the (more…)

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