Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Make an appointment to try a new hair color or a new hair style.
2. Visit your local car dealership and test drive the sports car of your dreams.
3. Schedule a hot air balloon ride for you and a special friend.
4. Visit a clothing store you don’t normally go to and try on clothes that represent the new YOU!
5. Buy a pair of designer jeans or fun shoes.
6. Try on some bold fashion jewelry that you wouldn’t normally wear.
7. Rent a kayak and spend the day on the river or local lake.
8. Sign up for dance classes.
9. Dine at a restaurant alone and fully enjoy the experience.
10. Park your car and take a bus somewhere — just for the fun of it!
11. Take the day off and walk through a botanical garden or art museum.
12. Visit one of the popular “naked” clay art studios and tap into your artistic self.
13. Visit your local library and find a book about something that you would normally never read — biography, historical fiction, or a science book — expand your horizons!
14. Start your own blog!
15. Enter a story, poem, or article in a writing contest or submit it to a local magazine.
16. Check out classes at a local college or community education class and sign up for something new.
17. Take a “do-it-yourself” class at Lowe’s or Home Depot and learn how to lay ceramic tile, repair a leaky faucet, or give your bathroom a fresh coat of paint.
18. Go someplace with a friend and sing karaoke!
19. Go line dancing — or salsa, or ballroom — whatever is new, different, and sounds like fun!
20. Find a local Mary Kay representative in the phone book and schedule a makeover.
21. Volunteer for a day at a school for special needs children and discover the joy of working with these kids.
22. Send a letter to the editor about a local issue that is important to you.
23. Make a point of greeting every sales clerk, delivery person, server, receptionist, and cashier you encounter today by their name and ask how they’re doing. A smile goes a long way!
24. Go fly a kite, ride a bike, go skating, or anything else you haven’t done since you were a child. Buy some crayons and color a picture of your dream. There’s nothing like big, chunky crayons to bring out the creative spirit of a child in you!
25. Open a bank account and name it your “dream fund.” Set aside a little money from every pay check to use to make your dreams come true.

Whatever it is, dream it and DO IT!! Enjoy!

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In a world of laptop computers, wireless Internet connections, cellular phones, efax, and virtual assistants, it’s becoming increasingly easy to run a successful business from your own home.

Here are a few ideas for carving out workspace for your home office:

1. Spare Bedroom or Den. This is the most obvious choice for a home office, but not everyone has the luxury of this extra space.
2. Formal living room or dining room. Too often these formal areas of the home go unused the majority of the time. Why not re-purpose an otherwise underutilized room (or a corner of it) for your home office?
3. Under the Stairs. Be creative. If your home lends itself to this type of arrangement, it can be quite charming. You can also carve out space on an enclosed porch or a hall closet.
4. Multi-shelf Rolling Cart. Use it to store all your office needs and pull it up next to the kitchen table. When you’re not working, roll it away in a pantry or closet.
5. Armoire. Choose either a contemporary or traditional style based on your home decor and use it as both storage and a workspace. When in use, pull up a nearby chair and let it function as a desk. When not in use, close the doors!
6. Bookcase. Visually separate your work area from the rest of a larger room (or even the end of hallway) by setting a tall bookcase perpendicular to the wall. It will provide a cozy nook for your workspace as well as offer storage for your files, office supplies, and a special photograph. Utilize decorative boxes, wicker baskets, and magazine holders for attractive display of your office needs.

No more excuses! You can set up your next profitable business venture right in your own home!

Here are six tips for coping:

1. Recognize that you’re not the first person to experience this pain and suffering. Remember the old saying, “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger?”
2. Express your feelings. Talk it through with those you’re closest to. Cry. Journal. Find excuses to laugh. Watch a funny movie just to release some of the tension.
3. Understand what went wrong. Learn from it. Don’t spend a huge amount of time over-analyzing, but try to take away the lessons to be learned from your loss.
4. Fill the emptiness. Find projects to work on. Take a trip. Volunteer. Get involved in life outside your own little world.
5. Keep things in perspective. Challenge negative thoughts. Write them down when they occur and look for the positive perspective. Read uplifting literature. Listen to stories that will inspire you. Give your friends permission to help you “police” your negative comments.
6. Table tough decisions. Avoid making any major decisions when you are really upset. Give yourself the time and space to clear your head and think straight before deciding important issues like where to live.

I truly wish that no one had to go through the agony of divorce, but for those that have no other choice, you will make it! It won’t be easy, but life will go on and you will experience joy again.

Next out came shoes, boots, and outerwear. I basically alternate between wearing a pair of comfy clogs and boots all winter.  Although I like to look nice, a fashionista, I am not! Living in Michigan, a winter coat is a necessity – I decided on a long, white one that makes me feel like a queen and a short, warm fuzzy brown one that I wear on less self-esteem boosting days.

The rules of Project 333 don’t dictate that you donate all your excess clothing (although it’s not a bad idea), so I took what was left and stored it in a sealed plastic tub under the bed – to review when I transitioned into Spring & Summer. Then I put my 33 items back in the closet and smiled at the results: There was breathing room between my clothes… I could actually see at a glance what I had to wear!

I can see the value in repeating this process every three months as additional items seem to creep in if not patrolled regularly. I’m not sure I’m ready to go so far as Sheena Matheiken with her Uniform Project, wearing the same ‘little black dress’ (creatively accessorized) as a way to raise awareness and support for educating children, but it’s certainly given me reason to pause and think twice before acquiring more clothes.

The majority of us talk about being “so busy” with a hint of pride in our voices, as if the busier we are, the more important our life is. And those who are secretly bored with life will attempt to fill their schedules to mask their loneliness. Either way, when we are tired and weary, we turn to the marketplace (or illicit relationships) for happiness and instead discover desire – craving what can never be completely satisfied. Sabbath is about surrendering our desires. As Muller writes, “We quench our thirst with Sabbath tranquility.” Just like temporarily fasting from sugar, our desire for it starts to fade. When we set aside our acquiring for a time of rest and reflection, it diminishes our desire for more.

Sabbath invites us to refrain from being seduced by our desires. Look around. See what you have. Do you really need more than this? Light some candles, take a leisurely bath, share a meal with your family, take a walk, curl up with a book, drink a cup of tea, write a letter, listen to relaxing music, worship, pray, meditate on Scripture, make love, take a nap, linger in front of the fire, share stories, play games with your children. By the end of the day, you will be renewed in body and soul and your desire to buy and consume will have dissolved.

People choose to simplify their lives for a variety of reasons. For some, it is born out of a desire for inner growth, to get in touch with what they deem to be most important in their lives. For others, they’ve sought a simpler lifestyle as a vehicle to reduce stress, get out from under the burden of too much stuff (and the subsequent debt that often accompanies material acquisitions), and a desire for more freedom, autonomy, and a higher quality of life.

What voluntary simplicity is NOT:

• It’s not easy – for instance, preparing meals from scratch using locally grown foods from the farmer’s market takes more time and effort than driving through McDonalds or ordering a pizza.
• It’s not escapist – living off the grid or using a cast iron iron to press clothes made from homespun wool. As romantic and appealing as old episodes of Little House on the Prairie might be, it’s not a blueprint for simplifying your life.
• It’s not impoverished – many people get the idea that to embrace a simple lifestyle, you have to reject money and ownership. Instead, it’s about keeping money and what it can buy in perspective.
• It’s not ignorant – you still need to read and think and know what’s going on in the world around you (especially in an election year).
• It’s not legalistic – since voluntary simplicity is about an attitude and a way of life, it’s different for everyone and at no point should someone set a standard of judgment for the lives of others. When I talk about it, it’s merely to encourage you to examine your life, not to make the same choices that I have.

What simplifying your lifestyle does is help you achieve life balance – by making a conscious decision to take a look at the quality of your life and make adjustments that free up your time and resources for that which is most important to you.

I have learned much from my Dad about the art of living simply and intentionally. To watch him in the kitchen is comparable to watching a master at his canvass. He chops each vegetable and piece of fruit with a real connectedness and respect for it. He never follows a recipe, but rather follows the natural instincts of his heart and mind preparing a meal. And each plate is presented so beautifully, betraying his roots as an artist and designer.

Homemade soups are garnished. Orange juice is served in a stemmed goblet. An asparagus stalk is laid across the plate as an artist would apply a paint stroke to the canvas. Everything is done intentionally to satisfy the eye as well as the palette.

Sharing a meal at my father’s table is truly a sensual delight, but watching him prepare the meal is inspiring – a reminder to me to embrace each moment, each daily event with the best of myself.

Midlife is a time when you can finally acknowledge what you need to make yourself happy. The problem is that so much of a woman’s value in our culture comes from her ability to anticipate and meet the needs of others.

When you becomes more vocal about your needs, it often creates conflict in your marriage relationship. This makes it difficult to express your needs without feeling guilty and selfish. But when you don’t feel heard, or don’t dare to voice your needs, you tend to shut down.

You may continue to function for a while, but you’ll eventually become isolated and even withdrawn. When you hold back on intimacy, however, you hold back on life. That’s why it’s so important that both you and your husband have your needs met.

When I was writing my first book, Bring It On! Women Embracing Midlife, a woman shared with me the following story:

I stopped loving him for a long time. I told him that and said that I was leaving as soon as I was in a position financially. There were many days that all that kept me from walking out the door were my three boys.

During all this, my husband remained as in love with me as ever. He bent over backwards to keep our marriage together when all I wanted to do was leave. I think it was my unhappiness with life in general that made me want to leave. I was blaming him for my own unhappiness.

Midlife can be taxing on a marriage. Mine survived only because of my husband. I had wanted to throw it all away. I was so unhappy; I just wanted to leave everything behind.

Finding out who I am helped me enormously and consequently my marriage. I think that’s a big roadblock for many couples. So many go into marriage thinking the other person will make them happy and when they don’t, they blame their spouse instead of taking responsibility for their own happiness.

As our love has grown and matured for each other, as we have learned to accept each other and not try to change each other, as we have allowed each other a bit of personal space, the chemistry has also deepened. Where once it was like a bonfire, it now glows smooth and steady like the coals.

Our relationship is better in every respect today than it was in the beginning. No, I don’t look at him and the fireworks go off, but (smile) it doesn’t take much more than that! -Laurie

Laurie learned what many women don’t realize until it’s too late: If you leave your marriage in pursuit of happiness, you’re going to wake up some day and discover that the emptiness and discontentment have followed you into your new life and your new circumstances.

At midlife, you can no longer afford to pretend that anyone other than yourself is going to bring you the fulfillment you long for. You can no longer rely on anyone, not even a devoted partner, for what you most deeply want and need. It’s time to assume responsibility for your own life – your individual growth and personal happiness.

Women at midlife are no longer looking for a man to give their lives meaning or to define them. Midlife women want a partner with whom they can be vulnerable and share their fears and insecurities. They desire a companion, friend and playmate – someone to share interests and activities with. Midlife women want someone who will share and support their dreams.

How often have you heard women say, “My marriage would be great if only my husband would change?” It’s not uncommon for couples that have been married for many years to feel that their connection has grown stagnant. The challenge is how to make significant changes in your marriage without sacrificing the best of what you have.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Determine to change yourself first. Don’t rely on your husband to meet all of your needs. A mate enlarges and enriches your life and contributes to your happiness, but if you rely too heavily on a partner for fulfillment, you’ll cripple the relationship. Authentic, mature love is based on appreciation, affection, and mutual respect. When you do those things, your relationship with your husband becomes less dependent and more inter-dependent.
2. Choose to forgive your husband when he has disappointed you. And be willing to confess when you’ve been wrong. The key to a sincere apology is to say, “I’m sorry” without adding, “but.” Asking what you can do to repair the damage demonstrates your desire to take responsibility for your own mistakes and work together to create a loving, supportive relationship.
3. Stop making those nasty remarks! It’s so easy to be critical, but it’s also detrimental. Let go of the little irritations that naturally come with living with another person. Instead, appreciate your husband’s attempts to change annoying habits and make a conscious effort to focus on his positive character traits. Look for occasions to praise him and express gratitude for all he does – positive reinforcement can go a long way!
4. Keep the lines of communication open. Do you have quiet time just for the two of you? Once a week, perhaps on Sunday evening, sit down with each other and discuss any current issues: decisions that need to be made, creative solutions for problems that you may be facing, ways to make one another feel more loved and appreciated, and areas in which you or your spouse may require additional support.
5. Rediscover the joy of being together. Are you able to set aside time to go out once a week and just have fun? Fun plays a huge part in what makes people fall in love in the first place. Couples who nurture the fun part of their marriage create an emotional climate that’s wonderful to be in. Dating your spouse is not an option; it’s a necessity.
6. Rekindle your sexual relationship. Do you talk candidly about your sexual needs? Sex is a wonderful way to communicate emotionally and spiritually with your husband, but you can only communicate when you make yourself available. If your hectic schedule leaves you feeling exhausted at the end of the day, you need to make your relationship a priority and give it the attention it deserves. It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut and forget how great sex can be!
7. Grow together by dreaming together. Get together as a couple and determine where you want to live. What kind of a house do you want? What kind of hobbies or interests do you want to pursue? Is there a business you’d like to start together? Talk about what you’ll do when your children leave home or when you’ve saved enough for your dream vacation. This long-term vision is crucial to a committed relationship because it says, “I’ll be here for you and you’ll be here for me.”

The success of your marriage is a choice, not some random act of chance or circumstances. Many couples get their priorities out of order without even realizing it. Unfortunately, when these feelings come on, there’s a tendency to think that means the end of a marriage. Your marriage isn’t over; it’s just fallen asleep and you need to wake it up!

Commit today to making the rest of your marriage the best yet.

Copyright ©2011 Path Partners.com

List Number One is a list of the men you’d like to get to know better. If you already have a close bond with one or more men, go ahead and write their names down. Then think about men you have met through work, church, volunteer activities, sporting events, etc that you think would be interesting to get to know better.

Too many married men have the false belief that they don’t need friends because they do everything with their family.” As a wife, I want to be my husband’s best friend, but I don’t want to be his only friend! If you’re guilty of this, you’ve placed way too much pressure on your wife – and your kids.

Men are typically unwilling to get close to other men. They are afraid to let their guard down and allow another man to see their vulnerabilities. They may tell jokes and slap each other on the back after a great golf swing, but really opening up and sharing your hopes and fears with another man is too frightening to imagine. If you haven’t already, start developing your male support system – guys you can call up to play a round of golf with, share a meal with, watch an action movie with, and pour out your heart to when things get tough.

List Number Two is a list of hobbies and pastimes that you’ve either abandoned since the kids came along and your workload got too overwhelming or activities that you’ve always been curious about but never had the time to pursue. Now is the time. Put together your own bucket list of things you’d like to delve into further. My clients have taken cooking classes, art or photography workshops, flying lessons, joined a group of running or bicycling buddies, dance lessons, learned a foreign language, volunteered, and even joined efforts to aid in hurricane relief. If you’re just sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, it’s time to get up and do something!

List Number Three is a list of household projects or other ‘to do’ items that need your attention. Have you let the basement or garage go? It’s time to tackle it. If your upstairs bathroom needs painting, go buy some paint. Maybe that’s as far as you get this time, but it beats falling asleep on the couch watching TV. Next time you’re tempted to start a pity-party, go tape off the bathroom and start painting. In the morning, you will have a sense of accomplishment instead of feeling that you wasted yet another evening.

List Number Four is different from the other three; it’s a list of all the things you love based on your five senses. What do you love to look at? Listen to? Taste? Touch? Smell? Perhaps you love the taste of blueberry pie, but it’s been ages since you’ve had a slice. Or maybe you love the touch and smell of leather. Consider getting a leather club chair or a bomber jacket. Find ways to incorporate more of the things you love into your life so that while you’re going through this tough time, you will maintain your gratefulness for each day and the moments that make you still glad to be alive.

Here’s what hundreds of men have indicated were the first signs that their wives were having a midlife crisis:

• She is depressed and withdrawn – she says she is unhappy and feels empty inside
• She is discontent and bored with our marriage – she wants a new life which doesn’t include me
• She is emotionally detached and doesn’t enjoy any of the activities we used to do together
• She says that she loves me but she’s not “in love” with me – she has cut me off emotionally and physically
• She says that she feels a lack of personal fulfillment and is not sure if she wants to be a wife and mother anymore – she thinks about running away
• She says she is “going through something” and wants to “take a break and find herself” – she says she needs time and space to figure out who she is and what she wants out of life
• She wants her freedom and independence – she wants to be on her own and make her own decisions
• She has lost a lot of weight, goes to the gym daily and is obsessive about exercising
• She pays more attention to her appearance, always looking in the mirror, and is very pleased when people tell her she looks ten years younger than she is
• She had a breast augmentation (nose job, tummy tuck, etc.), her teeth capped, and receives botox treatments
• She goes on spending sprees – she bought herself a new, younger looking wardrobe
• She dresses provocatively and acts flirtatious – she is constantly seeking attention from other men
• She had an affair with a co-worker (personal trainer, son’s soccer coach, old flame, guy she met in a bar, etc.)
• She bought a shiny new, red BMW convertible (anything that doesn’t scream “soccer mom”)
• She focuses only on herself and is acting extremely selfish – she says it’s time for her
• She is angry and irritable all the time, and becomes easily agitated over little things
• She is sarcastic with one cut down after another, constantly looking for a fight or argument and sometimes even goes into a violent rage
• She spends her spare time on the computer chatting with guys online
• She goes out drinking with younger, single friends/co-workers after work and stays out all hours of the night
• She started living like she was single again – separate vacations, rock concerts, going out to clubs and bars – anything to avoid being at home in the evening
• She is acting like a teenager!

Does any of this sound familiar? Then your wife may very well be experiencing a midlife crisis. Hold on for the ride of your life!

Copyright ©2011 Path Partners.com