It’s Not Too Late!

A woman recently wrote to me because she’d been ignoring the one thing that she felt most passionate about in her life. She had a dream of pursuing a career in music, but felt it was too late for her.

How about you? Do you wish you’d gone to college? Do you regret not taking that trip to Italy that you’ve always dreamed about? Do you lament the words you said to your spouse before walking out the door this morning? It’s not too late!

Action Steps: (more…)

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Stop Acting Like A Victim!

Do you believe that “life happens to me” or that you create your life? Do you find yourself blaming others for your current circumstances.

Chris Gardener, whose inspirational story was portrayed by Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happiness, had every reason to complain and blame others for his circumstances. But Chris realized something that not enough people truly comprehend: We are 100 percent responsible for our own lives.

Don’t blame other people and circumstances if you don’t have the kind of life you think you deserve. Blaming serves only one purpose — making you feel like a victim. And a victim doesn’t have power over her own life. Someone with a victim mentality thinks life happens to her; she remains helpless. She’s not involved in creating her own experience. She looks at her circumstances and asks, “Why me?” She’ll blame her situation — not having enough money, a dead- end job, an unsupportive spouse, or the demands of children — and use it as her excuse for not pursuing her dreams. (more…)

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The Value of an Hour

How important is your time to you? What value do you place on your time? Outside of sleeping, eating, working, household chores and other activities to sustain your life, what do you do with your time? How do you spend your “non-working” moments each day?

It is easy to lose sight of where your time goes. An hour here and an hour there may seem harmless enough. However, all of those hours add up to make a significant portion of your life. For instance, the average American spends more than four hours a day watching TV. Multiply that by fifty years and you have eight years spent staring at a box!

Think about it: There are 525,600 minutes in every year. How do you want to spend them? Assuming one- third of those minutes are spent sleeping, you still have 346,896 minutes left to spend however you choose. Do you want to just let the days happen to you or do you want to plan?

There is a major difference between being busy and taking specific, well-planned action. You can have a busy day with nothing to show for it – without moving closer to your most important goals. The key is to map out your day; prioritize the important tasks on your agenda so that you have time for learning and expanding your knowledge.

To start with, set aside at least 20-30 minutes a day to develop the habit of reading. Read anything that is stimulating, challenging or gives you an edge in your industry or profession. The experts all agree that if you really want to be successful, you should invest one hour of your day to learn more about your area of interest. Developing this single habit can totally change the direction of your life! (more…)

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The Purpose in Your Life

Do you ever feel like you’re running in circles, not making any progress forward? Are you stuck in the same rut, day in and day out? Do work and home responsibilities fill your thoughts every day, leaving you no time to ponder your dreams, much less time to pursue them?

It’s the awareness of that void in our lives that frequently serves to propel us into a time of transition, a time of recognizing our need to create changes in our life so that we feel our lives have meaning. We want our lives to have purpose, to know that we’re on this earth to serve a higher purpose than just existing from day-to-day.

I clearly remember the day that I sent my first book manuscript to my editor. I still remember the exhilaration of finally having it completed. I had stayed up several nights in a row – working almost around the clock – to finish it before we left on a much deserved vacation! (more…)

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Are You SERIOUS About Your Goals?

Are you serious about your goals? My husband asked me that question recently with regard to my weight loss goal. Eight years ago, I had successfully worked off (I don’t think “lost” does it justice) about 50 lbs, but over the last several years I’ve allowed my weight to slowly creep back up again. As a result, I have unwanted pounds that I’ve been carrying around. Unfortunately, according to the national average, I’m not alone. Current statistics reveal that over half of our population is above the healthy weight range for their bodies.

When I first heard the question, “Are you serious about your goal?” my natural reaction was, “Of course I am!” But then I stopped to think about it. Am I really? Or am I just giving that particular goal an occasional nod, pretending to be serious about it behind the disguise of on-again/off-again diets and irregular exercise programs?

What about you? What goals have you been putting off for “someday”. Have you fallen into the trap of saying, “I’ll have time to do that when my kids leave home,” or “I can afford that when I get my promotion,” or “My life is just too busy right now!” (more…)

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Moms in the Middle: Feeling Sandwiched In?

“I just don’t sleep,” says Carol, a 53-year-old public relations consultant. “My 84-year-old mother moved in three years ago after a bad fall and my daughter, who is going through a divorce, moved in last month with her 3-year-old twin boys and a 10-month-old baby girl. I love having my grandchildren around, but with taking care of Mom and trying to run my business, I no longer have any time for myself!”

Carol’s situation isn’t as uncommon as you may think. Nearly one in four US households are now providing care to a relative or friend 50 or older. With the costs of long term care rising and the number of Americans over age 65 almost doubling in the next 25 years, it’s expected that 53 million US households will be caring for one or both parents (or spouses) in their home as well as children.

The “Sandwich Generation” is more than just a cultural phrase. It’s quickly becoming a reality for a growing number of women who, like Carol, are seeing the tides of responsibility turning and the care of their parents falling on their shoulders. Even if you aren’t directly involved in their care in your home, you may still be regularly involved in your parents’ daily needs – trips to the doctor, grocery shopping, cleaning, paying bills, and handling correspondence. (more…)

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It Doesn’t Need To Be Like That!

Does turning 40 have to mean decreased strength and stamina?

Research tells us that around age 40, women start to lose nearly a half-pound of muscle mass and gain the same amount of fat with each passing year. Meanwhile, women’s bodies begin to naturally lose up to bone percent of bone mass a year. At midlife, our metabolism is quicker to convert food into fat and store it – especially in our upper bodies. Think larger breasts, back fat, belly fat, and little fat pouches near your armpits that hang over your bra. Hot flashes and other symptoms triggered by the swoops and dips of estrogen only add to the fun.

But it doesn’t need to be like that! Midlife weight gain is avoidable if you know what to do. (more…)

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Got Girlfriends?

At midlife, your friendships with other women will make the difference between living a vibrant, fulfilling life and being miserably alone. Every woman longs for someone who will listen and offer a safe environment where she can laugh, cry, and express her feelings. It’s important to take the time now to cultivate meaningful relationships with women that cheer you on while you explore different options, catch you when you fall, and encourage and support you as you endeavor to redefine yourself.

The biggest key to finding friends like this is to be one yourself!

Listen to other women when they’re sharing about themselves. Be attentive. Show interest. Keep the conversation focused on them and not on you. One woman I know has a story for every situation that someone else brings up. I’m sure you’re familiar with the type! They probably mean well, but it almost seems like they’re trying to top your situation with one that is more tragic, or more eyebrow raising than your own.

It’s okay to share a similar situation, but make sure you’re giving the other woman plenty of time to speak and share what’s on her heart before you barge in with a situation of your own. It’s much better to ask questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “Are you feeling betrayed?” or “You’re probably very angry. Have you been able to tell her how that made you feel?” Questions like these allow the other person to realize that you really are hearing what they’re saying. (more…)

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12 Steps to A Fabulous Summer

Especially for those of us living in a northern climate, summer is a rare opportunity to spend our days outside, soaking up the sun. For those with school-age kids, summer means a change in our normal schedule. How can you make the most of it?

Here are 12 steps to ensuring that you don’t arrive at Labor Day wondering what happened to your summer:

  1. Start a summer notebook! Find a 3-ring binder and put in 12 page dividers (for the 12 weeks between now and Labor Day). Insert blank paper and some page protectors. Find a summer scene from a magazine that inspires you and create a front cover page. You can call it: “My Fabulous Summer – 2011!”
  2. Plan fun events. On the first page in each section write the dates for that week. For instance, week one would be June 11-17. Now check your calendar for any fun events that you already have scheduled for each week. Maybe you’re planning a week at the cottage, or camping, or visiting relatives. (more…)
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Are You At Risk for Depression?

6 Major Contributors to Depression: Are You At Risk?

While not an exhaustive list, any one of these six factors in a person’s life could lead to some serious mental and phsyical health problems. However, a combination of two or more of them would send most people into clinical depression. Which of the following are you currently facing?

  1. Love loss. Are you suffering from a broken heart? Not only could this be as a result from a relationship ending, but the loss of a loved one through death. I’ve talked to several women recently who have gone through the tragic death and untimely death of a parent or close friend. What relationship loss might be causing you to grieve right now? (more…)
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